03 | Embracing Transitions & The Power of Support with Hannah Winters

Today's episode features Hannah Winters, who dives into her inspiring journey from being an ICU nurse to founding The Birthing Space. This conversation explores the importance of community, personal transformation, and the profound impact of motherhood on women’s experiences.

Hannah also happens to be my best friend and so this episode is a free-flowing, candid conversation about life transitions, radical responsibility, the need for soft connections, and the power of embracing one's authentic self. We emphasize how nurturing and honoring women during the sacred transitions of motherhood can positively impact their health and well-being. Listeners will learn about the concept of “villaging” and how crucial it is for mothers to have a supportive framework during significant life changes.

About the guest:
Hannah Winters is an accomplished ICU nurse with nine years of experience, a certified yoga teacher, and the founder of The Birthing Space. With a passion for empowering women through the transformative phases of motherhood, she has developed a unique approach that supports women during pregnancy, childbirth, and the postpartum period. Hannah has dedicated her career to highlighting the importance of community and holistic wellness.

Resources:

• Connect with Hannah and learn more about The Birthing Space HERE! 

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Transcript

Transcript

0:00:00 A: Welcome to Coffee with Carly, your weekly wake up call to a happier, healthier life. I’m your host, Carly Shade, and I’m here to uncover how good life can get. Most people have no idea how good they’re supposed to feel. Instead, we tell ourselves these stories that keep us comfortable, but stuck. So what if I told you that life can and should keep getting better and better? What if I told you that you can wake up every day and feel good?

0:00:39 A: And that the life that you dream of is out there, but it starts with living life on your own terms? See, I believe there are a lot of different pathways to happiness, health, and success. I have learned from some of the most unexpected places and people on my own journey, and that’s what I want to share with you through inspiring stories, scientific facts, and everyday practical tools. You’ll hear from me, my guests and friends as we dive into topics on health, mindset, relationships, science, energetics, and personal growth.

0:01:09 A: But my hope is that you just end each episode feeling a little lighter, happier, and more empowered. So if you’re feeling stuck or restless and desire more out of life, please know this, you don’t have to stay there. This podcast is an invitation to go from good to great, from scarcity to abundance, and from fear to courage. So whether you’re awakening to new possibilities, rediscovering your power, or ready to take radical responsibility for your life, Coffee with Carly is your place to find the tools, mindset, and inspiration to evolve.

0:01:43 A: So grab a cup of coffee, get cozy, and let’s chat. All right, everyone. Today is a very, very special day. Why? Because it’s our very first episode of Coffee with Carly. We are here sitting in Cleveland, Ohio, home for the holidays. Well, actually, who knows if this is going to be actually the very first aired episode, but it is the very first recorded. So if you’re listening, this is patient zero.

0:02:22 B: Here I am.

0:02:23 A: Yep. Okay. So welcome to Coffee with Carly. Our very first guest is a very, very, very special person to me in my life, Hannah Winters, who is an ICU nurse of nine years, a yoga teacher, and the founder of the birthing space, and she also happens to be one of my best friends. So we’re just gonna dive right into it and start talking about a lot of fun stuff. But how are you doing, Hannah?

0:02:48 B: Hi, guys. I am feeling excited and slightly nervous.

0:03:03 A: It’s been a long time coming.

0:03:04 B: It has. There’s been a lot developing for both of us. And I think. I don’t want to speak for Carly, but for me, it’s like A lot of it is emerging into reality and existence right now. So just a very exciting time, a very nerve wracking time as well. So I’m excited though, for this opportunity to just use my voice, actually, because a lot of the developmental process that has been happening over the last few years has been very internal.

0:03:53 B: And so with the emergence of things coming out into external reality, there’s gonna be some learning and some new processes. And I think using my voice to express all of these things that have been internally happening is going to be part of that. So I feel honored to, number one, be your first podcast guest. Coffee with Carly. And yeah, I feel grateful for the opportunity to exercise the throat chakra a little bit.

0:04:33 A: Amazing.

0:04:33 B: So here we are.

0:04:34 A: Yeah. So in a little background, I mean, so Hannah and I have known each other since like seventh grade probably.

0:04:41 B: How old were we in seventh grade? I don’t know, 12.

0:04:45 A: We went to high school together. So we have known each other for a very long time and really reconnected. It’s pretty cool with our story, which I think we’ll maybe dive into in a little bit. But Hannah was a traveling nurse and did come to live with me in Washington a year, two years ago. And we just called it divine reciprocity. Like, we just showed up into each other’s lives at the exact same time and have just like totally changed our lives, especially in the last year. So it’s been very, very fun to have somebody that goes through the same thing. And I think so many of us around this age are going through major transformation.

0:05:24 A: Maybe it just, it happens when you turn 30, I don’t know. But even our friends. Yeah, everyone is just waking up to, like, their own awareness and health and. So why don’t you just tell me a little bit, I guess, about your journey. You talked about like this. It’s been years of kind of some internal transformation. But now you’re ready to share. I would imagine that probably came through the birthing space, which is what?

0:05:54 B: Oh, yes, it feels very big to try to condense into an expression verbally, but I’m going to try my best. So the birthing space is. I could call it the business that I’m formulating right now. It is. It feels like much more than a business to me, but it is the name of my business. And it is at the current moment a really a sacred container that I aim to hold for the feminine. And I am stepping into with my first offerings, supporting women in their transitions and their sacred seasons of motherhood.

0:07:06 B: So that includes pregnancy Birth and the postpartum period. And so it has been in the works internally, as I said, for a while now. The seed was planted a very long time ago. And it’s interesting because as people have been kind of asking me about the birthing space, and I’ve been able to now start to explain to other people how it has come to be, I’ve realized that the seed was planted a long time ago in my last year of nursing school.

0:07:47 B: So 10 years ago now, I had an internship on a postpartum unit as a nursing student. And it was great. I loved it. I felt very at home in the environment of the mother baby dyad. It felt very natural to me. And so I kind of thought that that’s what I was gonna go into as a nurse, and then the intensive care unit stole me away. So that’s what I did for nine years. But, yeah, postpartum and, like, the mother baby has always just kind of been in the back of my mind.

0:08:32 B: And I would say my. My brain never really knew that it was going to reenter my reality, but I would say that my higher self, like, always had an inner knowing that it was going to come back around and be a part of my path. So, yeah, so that’s when the seed was planted. And it’s really been in the last couple of years that the specific sacred seasons of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum have really come into just, like, my field of awareness and interest.

0:09:09 B: And I’ve developed a lot of passion for just recognizing this period of time for women and observing this period of time and just making space for it and making space for the importance of this period of time and honoring it the best that we can.

0:09:36 A: And period of time being pre motherhood and pregnancy and kind of the postpartum space.

0:09:43 B: Yeah, I would call it like, the perinatal period right now. I mean, definitely. Like, the reason. Part of the reason that the name of the business is called the birthing space is because, yes, these are the seasons that I’m focusing on right now. But when you take the word birthing into more of a metaphorical sense, like, this can support women in any season of life because we. We don’t have to define birthing as just like the birth of an actual child.

0:10:24 B: Like, I would say that I’m actually in the process, in a birthing process myself right now of essentially releasing something that I have been internally developing over the last couple of years into physical reality.

0:10:45 A: That’s amazing. Yep. I would say we’re both. We’re both in A birthing space right now, the birth of this podcast, which I do just want to take a moment to thank all of you who are showing up and listening to this right now. But no, I mean, that. That’s amazing. And such a. From the specific motherhood lens, you know, it just reminds me of when my mom talked about when she had a kid. You know, she’s like, it’s just crazy. You walk into a hospital and then you walk out and they’re like, here’s a child and your life is never the same.

0:11:16 A: And while, yeah, there is this threshold, but there’s also so much more to it. And it sounds like that is what the birthing space reminds all of us of women and like of our superpowers and of the ancestral components to being a mom and a motherhood. And you provide that space. Space to really support the mom more so than the baby. It sounds like in just bringing a child into the world, which is crazy.

0:11:48 B: Absolutely. It’s definitely like, obviously we all love newborn babies and we all want to get our hands on them, but. And we absolutely honor their presence and their emergence into the world. And that will be part of my offerings. But the way I am showing up to support mothers is definitely mother centered. So, I mean, you can kind of think of it like a mother is. Her primary role in that postpartum period is just being 100% present for her baby, that she is literally nourishing with life force energy on all levels, obviously, like energetic. But through feeding that baby her breast milk or if she’s not breastfeeding, making sure that baby gets all of its nutrients that it needs through formula and that, that’s her primary role.

0:12:49 B: So really when we, when we zoom out and we reorient ourselves to where we are in time and space right now as humans. And in order to orient to where we are right now, we have to look back at where we’ve been. And this is something that you talk about too, with just being able to recognize, like, okay, what have we gone through? And this is like really zooming out, like into our past ancestral lines. And we look at like, how did we live as humans? How did we nourish life as humans? And a lot of that had to do with the networks of support that we had inherently built into the communities and the villages that we as humans lived in.

0:13:45 B: We don’t live in those, within those structures of a society anymore. And so we have lost those inherent layers of support that are absolutely biologically needed and necessary for mothers to be able to optimally show up for their babies. And so that’s really the foundation of what I want to bring into the birthing space, is just the best we can reintegrating and reclaiming those ways of supporting each other as women in this modern society that we live in.

0:14:28 A: I mean, there’s always that saying, it takes a village. And, you know, I’m looking outside our window right now, and I’m in Cleveland Heights, which is a suburb, and I’m seeing a million house. You know, there’s tons of houses. We live closer in proximity to each other than ever. But there’s just. We have lost some of that sense of community.

0:14:46 B: Yeah.

0:14:46 A: You know, I mean, and so many of us, at least our friends, have always been talking about building the compound or the commune, but it does. It makes so much sense.

0:14:56 B: I think it is.

0:14:56 A: And just needing to have that support from one another.

0:14:59 B: Yes. And kind of touching on what you said. Like, I don’t know if it’s just like, people are age, but I am seeing a lot of people. Maybe it is just like the collective right now, kind of like shifting paradigms and waking up to certain aspects of the ways that we are living and looking at it and recognizing that, like, things aren’t functioning super well within our society. Yeah. Like, I think we can all kind of recognize that, like, if we look at the health of the general population in the United States, like, we’ve got to.

0:15:40 B: We’ve got to step back and take a look at what we’re doing and how we’re doing it. And. Yeah. I mean, if we have a desire, which I know you and I do, I know a lot of people do, to live our best lives. Like, we have to make changes and what we’re doing and the actions that.

0:16:00 A: We’Re taking, and it’s a mindset shift, you know, I mean, that’s exactly. That’s what this whole podcast is about. Right. It’s just remembering that there’s a different way of living and that all of these excuses that we kind of have told ourselves, like, oh, it happens when you’re 30, or, you know, it’s part of aging. All these things. It’s like, that’s not true.

0:16:20 B: Yeah.

0:16:20 A: And that we. Life can keep getting better. And, you know, and the amount of the women and moms that have postpartum depression, it’s like, that’s not normal. That doesn’t have to be normal. And providing that support. But, I mean, that’s just been so fun. It’s not easy, though, because it’s a Mindset shift.

0:16:37 B: But it’s.

0:16:38 A: What’s so fun about our journey together is we really have both kind of gone into this awakening together and. And been so fortunate to have the support of each other, because we are living different, and we’re challenging norms and expectations and realizing that these things that we desire, we can cultivate, and they start with ourselves. So I like what you said, too, about looking back and remembering who we are.

0:17:05 A: Cause it’s so funny, because both these things that I talk about my business you talk about is not necessarily a learning, but it’s an unlearning. Right. Like, yeah, we’re just going back to the basics of, like, getting our feet in grass and our eyes in the sun and, like, the community support of women. It’s like we’re just going back to the caveman times, cave woman times. So, on your journey, what.

0:17:30 A: What has been something that you’ve maybe unlearned in your process?

0:17:34 B: Oh, boy. A lot. Oh, that’s a big question.

0:17:39 A: You know.

0:17:45 B: I mean, I think, like, the general idea that there is a prescriptive way of living to kind of reiterate what you just said. Like, I think that has been a huge reframe that has allowed me to take the actions that I have and just want to mention too, like, these mental shifts and these reframes, like, it’s not easy to do, and. But. And when you take those actions that are different than what you’ve done in the past are in alignment with a new way of thinking, it’s like each time you take one of those actions, maybe this is, like, where the nervous system comes in and you can speak more to this than I can, Carly. But, like, each time you take one of those, like, difficult actions that goes against maybe your past conditioning and is part of a new mental model and a new way of living, it does create change, like, in your energetic field, in your nervous system, and that then allows you to continue taking those steps.

0:19:11 B: So, yeah, I think I would just say, like, just moving away from this prescriptive way of living that we all kind of get conditioned into in different ways, of course, like, depending on where you grew up or whatever. And it’s not to say anything is, like, bad or wrong, but I’ve just realized that. That. That living in alignment with your authentic truth feels so much better. And it feels like it is bringing life into my body and into my life.

0:19:50 A: Yes. And. And it feels good, but that also doesn’t mean that it’s not uncomfortable. So going back to the nervous system. Yeah, I Mean, so it’s all patterns, right? Like, everything is patterns. And I always. One of my quotes that I always like to say is, like, if you want to be different or you want to live different or something, you want to see change in your life, you have to be capital B, E different.

0:20:14 A: And what people don’t realize is, is. So I’m going to talk about a lot of science. We know, I love the science stuff here. But the nervous system is one of our first connections and relations with the world. And our body also likes to be efficient. And so with the nervous system, it’s going to rely on previous patterns. So like you said, so it’s like if a new situation comes in or, you know, our daily lives, we keep living the same way that we have, you know, and we are going to look back to what we’ve done and previous patterns and previous reactions to things all the way back to our childhood.

0:20:47 A: So if we want to tackle a new situation differently or we would like to shift our identity, or we would like to start a new job, or we would like to start a new workout routine, I mean, down to these simple changes in our lives, we have to realize that it’s starting at a cellular level of being different because your body wants to remain on these patterns. You know, it’s like retraining your brain.

0:21:10 A: And like you said, it’s not easy. You know, we all talk about like, oh, a mindset transformation or four ways to stop yourself from overthinking. But it’s like, easier said than done.

0:21:19 B: Yes.

0:21:20 A: You know, and there’s a reason that most people don’t look there. You know, I searched in nutrition, I searched in fitness. Like, I looked in all these other external things. And while they’re important, I really saw the shift when I started to look within and we started to change the pathways and change the responses and change the way that we interact with the world, because that’s where the change comes from. We’re not changing the world.

0:21:44 A: We’re changing the way our bodies interact with the world and we react, frame those old patterns and it’s very, very interesting.

0:21:54 B: What? I have a question for you. Yeah. Can you give, like, an example of one of those shifts that you made and maybe like an example that happened, like, during the time that we were living together.

0:22:09 A: When I quit my job of eight years, I had an emotional, whatever that was exactly.

0:22:15 B: Like, I’m just thinking, like, leading up to that decision of quitting your job, making that huge change, like, what did you experience that allowed you to make that Change.

0:22:29 A: Frustration and bitterness. Honestly.

0:22:32 B: Yeah.

0:22:32 A: I mean, I had been. This job was my dream job at once, and I loved it. And I’d been there for eight years, and I was like, what? You know, why am I feeling this? You know, if this is really my dream job? Like, why. Why am I so miserable, frankly? And I wish, you know, I have a huge story, you know, that will be actually one of my podcast episodes. About all the less, you know, we all have 2020 hindsight. It’s so much easier to retell our stories and reframe the meanings of our past.

0:23:02 A: So this is certainly not how it happened. But for me, it was. At first, I was frustrated and bitter, and I was tired of just doing the same thing. I was banging my head against the wall over and over and over again and thinking that things were going to be different in my life. And during that time, I was really placing blame on everyone else. That’s what it was. It was just. And these were my best friends, my co workers are my family.

0:23:27 A: But I was trying to change every single one of them. I was trying to change the workplace, the culture, how we did things, how people were truly down to who they were and just the reality of how they work. And I finally. It wasn’t quite this, you know, epiphany, as I can explain it, but it was just. It was radical responsibility. It was just like, I can’t change this environment, and so I need to change. I need to remove myself from this environment.

0:23:57 A: And it, of course, was not that clear, but now I can see that it was, you know, and that was a huge thing. It was just, I am responsible for my life, and I’m responsible for my feelings. And if I’m not feeling happy and healthy and the way that I know that I should be, that’s on me to change. And so I left with zero plans, and here we are nine months later.

0:24:25 B: He said a few things that sparked, like, a little inspiration in that, I think, so radical personal responsibility is something that I have also begun to cultivate in the last few years. And I feel like that is one thing that has been, like, one of the most transformational shifts that I have experienced. And now that I’m talking about it, I’m trying to even think. I don’t think it was, like, a moment where I was like, I’m gonna start taking radical responsibility for myself.

0:25:10 A: Like, it’s never that.

0:25:11 B: All of these shifts and these growth patterns, like, have all kind of coincided, and I’m sure have worked together to create, like, this beautiful like growth spurt that I’ve experienced but and continue to. And you know, it’s gonna be a lifetime of learning. But I feel like radical. Taking responsibility for yourself in every aspect of your life is one of the most empowering things that I have ever experienced. Like, it is just like, like you said, it’s so simple coming down to like every decision that you make, like knowing that it’s your own responsibility and no one else has any power over the decisions that you make is so liberating 100%.

0:25:58 A: And you’re right. And I would actually say that that’s probably one of my big overarching pillars and all the things that fall and things that we work on fall underneath that of. So that was first radical responsibility was just. It’s my responsibility to remove myself, to change my environment because that’s what I can do. And then, you know, a lot of the last year and my work has been on embodiment.

0:26:24 A: And that’s what I had you to thank too, of just providing that space where you could learn to be vulnerable. Especially as, you know, the high achieving, very anxious, athletic, fitness, focused, pusher, climb mountains kind of person. I was like, what the hell? Even I didn’t need a lot of.

0:26:39 B: Type 2 fun built in there.

0:26:41 A: And I still love type 2 fun. But I was like, I don’t even know what embodiment is. But radical responsibility has allowed some something. Radical responsibility just sounds like harder.

0:26:52 B: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:26:54 A: And so for me it was also, we are responsible for our emotions and our triggers and we’re responsible for all of these things. And same with, we’re responsible for our thoughts and we’re responsible for our body. And so that’s what has. That I have worked on, right? Is reframing my brain and that I am in control. It’s my responsibility and it’s my privilege to get to control my brain and to get to use my body the way that I want to or to get to attach the meaning that I want to an experience.

0:27:27 A: You know, that’s what we talk about and that’s what we dive into with our mindset shifts. Right. Is we get to decide, like you said, it’s a stance of empowerment because we actually get to change our reality. We get to decide what meanings experiences have in our lives. You know, and. And when you take a look back at your history, you can literally rewrite your future by looking at your past and by just taking ownership of the meaning that you attach to something.

0:27:54 B: Yeah.

0:27:55 A: And so it all for me has really stemmed from Radical responsibility. And I love that too. Right? Like, you know, your partner says something, your fiance, whatever, like, says something and you get triggered. It’s like, that is actually your responsibility. It’s not his. To change the way that he says and talks and whatever. It was like, oh, that came from me, therefore, it is mine. And I find it extremely empowering.

0:28:21 A: And for whatever reason, it was that shift, just that responsibility that really has sent me down this path. It’s amazing who’s interviewing who here.

0:28:31 B: It’s just a conversation to touch on too. You’ve said a couple of times, and we’ve touched on this a couple of times already, but, like, this concept of, like, looking back in order to orient and move forward. And you mentioned when you were talking about your story of leaving your job at give, you said, like, okay, you. You stopped for a moment and said, if this is like my dream job, then, like, why am I feeling this way? And that’s another important thing to recognize is, like, we evolve no matter, like, if we want to, whether we want to or not. Like, as human beings, we are biologically designed to evolve over time.

0:29:21 B: And what your dream job was maybe 8 years ago May no longer be what your dream job is now. So, like, even that simple fact of, like, taking. Just taking a step second to, like, look back and, like, notice what your thoughts are, like, just in that moment, you said, okay, if this is my dream job, well, wait, let’s ask myself a question. Like, is this still my dream job? You know, like, just being inquisitive with yourself and curious, too.

0:29:51 A: Yeah, I think that was a huge part. Is I have always been. I’m the person, the chronic. How’s life been? Busy, busy, busy, busy, busy. You know, that was me. That is how I was living my life. Insane. The amount of things that I would do and whatever reason that was. But I was so busy that I never had time to check in with myself. And everything was urgent. And we were always in a rush in my personal.

0:30:19 A: In everything, in every way. And so finally, when I did get to remove myself and, you know, I took that trip to Costa Rica or what, you know, I had time to reflect and slow down and. And then the answers just reveal themselves again, not so clearly. But I made that decision was like, I need to leave. But we can all. And we’re. It’s December 27th, you know, it’s the end of 2024. We can all benefit from reflection because sometimes we just let ourselves get so busy and so caught up in life and go through the Motions that we forget.

0:30:55 A: All of a sudden, five years go by and you wake up and you’re like, how did I get here?

0:31:00 B: Yeah.

0:31:00 A: And it’s because we never took the time to check in with ourselves and. Yeah. And ask ourselves some of those important questions. And part of my journey, too was I didn’t really know who I was. You know, I didn’t know how to ask some of those when I left.

0:31:14 B: That’s a big one, right?

0:31:16 A: Well, no. Right. Who knows who they are? I still don’t know who I am. But it’s a Learning exciting every day.

0:31:21 B: It’s every day you get to learn who you are.

0:31:24 A: And I didn’t. And I think, yeah, I was like, I didn’t know who I was. But an exercise that really did help me was I looked back and I was like, okay, what actions did I take in the last 10 years when my life really took off? You know, like, what version of myself was I being? And a lot of it was the super whatever, quote, unquote, reckless, fast decision making, risky person that decided to move across the country with no game plan, that decided to leave grad school and go chase my dream job in this other direction.

0:31:57 A: And I had realized that I stopped doing that for a while. And so me leaving was my. I was like, oh, I. I got this. I. I know who. What I’m doing. I’m gonna go do a risky thing that doesn’t make any sense because life will take off for me again. But, yeah, it just. It’s kind of remembering who you are. And that’s what I would say has actually been. The unlearning for me is like. It’s the de. Layering.

0:32:25 A: You know, over. Over time, we’ve all snowballed into this person. It’s like, who are we really at the core.

0:32:31 B: Yeah.

0:32:32 A: And that has been through my own somatic practices, through my own journey of reconnecting with my body. It’s been unlearning all that stuff, which, for those who don’t know, somatics is really anything with the body, like, moving. The most common would be processing unstuck emotions. But it’s really like movement and healing and processing through the body. So all of you people who sing in the shower and dance in the car and do all that, you are practicing somatic practices.

0:33:03 B: Those things make you feel good for a reason. Like, who doesn’t feel good after ripping it up on the dance floor or. Yeah, singing, like, belting it out in the car by yourself. Like, these are built in mechanisms that our Bodies hold as like wisdom. Like, do these things and your energy will be redispersed throughout your body. Like, it’s. It’s so much deeper than we even know. But like, it’s also so simple. Like, what do you. What makes you feel good? You know, do more of that.

0:33:42 B: Right.

0:33:42 A: It’s that simple. So for all of you guys, like, what makes you feel good? And do more. Yeah, and do more of that. Do less of everything else. You know, that was Kate Northrup, who we both listen to. We love her. She’s the best. Huge inspiration for both of us. Her book, Do Less.

0:33:59 B: Good stuff. Good money stuff too. Yes, money.

0:34:03 A: Things to delve into, which we’ve both gone through.

0:34:07 B: And I interrupted you though.

0:34:10 A: But it’s just. That’s like. That is one of my guiding principles. As again, someone who used to just think, if we do all the things, then that’s where we see success and happiness. And it’s something. And that’s a nervous system too, is making sure your body knows that it’s safe to do less. You know, especially if you’ve been in a job or do done things in a certain way, to think that you can. Like, that’s how you have to get to success.

0:34:37 A: Yeah, you can do less, but it, it. That’s a process. That’s a rewiring.

0:34:42 B: It is. And it takes time too. So, like, I feel like what. What I have run into in the past and what a lot of people run into, like when your nervous system is trained in that way under the like lie, essentially that, like, doing more is going to equate to higher value for you as a human when you then make the choice to say, you know what, no, I’m gonna try slowing down. I’m gonna try creating space for myself and I’m gonna try doing less. I’m gonna try resting.

0:35:21 B: Don’t get discouraged when you go to try and do that. And it’s extremely difficult and it’s uncomfortable and. Yeah, it’s just. It. It is. It’s a process. It takes time. It is a literal rewiring in your brain, in your body and your nervous system. So this speaks to and translates to just the concept of like really being in devotion to yourself in that way. And I like that way of describing. Another word to use could be discipline.

0:35:57 B: I have a huge aversion to that word. So Carly likes the harsh words. I don’t like the harsh words.

0:36:04 A: We’re a good balance.

0:36:06 B: So I have, yeah, reframed discipline into just being in devotion to myself and like, yeah, if something’s hard but you know in your higher mind that it’s going to serve you. Like keep doing it, keep trying it and see where it takes you.

0:36:24 A: And I will, I will agree that devotion is a good word that I am working on because what I experienced, I experienced this. You know, I left and I was like, okay. I just, you know, I was so stressed and I was like, I just need to relax. I just need to do nothing. You know, I, I swung from the hyper kind of nervous system, hyperactive. And then I swung right into shutdown. And both of those are not actually balanced nervous system when we have this ab ability to shut down. Yeah, that’s, that’s actually like the lowest of the hierarchy.

0:36:56 A: We all really want to be in the state of balanced connection. And so I was swinging from both and then I was getting upset with myself. Like I was, I was trying to create like a workout routine, you know, and it used to be waking up. You witnessed this. I witnessed at like 7am and then it was like, do my work from 9 to 5 and then be done. But in. I also internally knew that I had quit so that I could afford myself a flexibility of building the life that I wanted.

0:37:21 A: But I was still trying to fit it in this nine to super regimen. Yeah. And I was trying to discipline and, and schedule every moment of every day. And then when inevitably things went wrong, which they do, I just didn’t build in any flexibility, any buffer time in my life. And so then I just thought I needed to fix that with more discipline and more discipline and it just became layered. So you are onto something with the idea of devotion, which is the long term game.

0:37:47 B: Yeah.

0:37:48 A: But it is hard. And I, and I think that’s actually something. When you were telling me about the birthing space before, that was a huge, just kind of light bulb for me of how you support the moms. Because especially for some of us who are used to living this insanely active adventure seeking life. And not to say that you can’t still do that of course, with your child. Absolutely. We’ll talk about that later. But just from a nervous system standpoint, like you do have to be round the clock care for your child immediately after.

0:38:20 A: And if you’re not prepared for it, that’s sometimes where some of the challenges can come from.

0:38:23 B: Yeah, we’re doing that thing right now, Carly. We’re getting into a flow where like this is a thing that happens with Carly and I are the way I think of it and describe it is like our Higher selves are just like, in resonance with one another. They’re connected. But yeah, so we’re getting into the flow. But this. I was going to talk about this as well. So, like, this concept of needing to rewire in order to be able to really settle into rest.

0:39:00 B: And I think this, you know, there’s tons of factors that play into a woman having a hard time postpartum, whether she does actually develop some type of like postpartum depression or anxiety or it’s just, you know, whatever. It’s. It’s a hard time. Regardless whether you prepare for it, however you think is like, you know, appropriate or whatever. It’s. It’s a huge transition. So just creating the space for an acknowledgment for that. Like any mother that’s going through this, like, we see you and we see that you’re going through a huge change.

0:39:39 B: So just having softness around that. But one way that you can make it a little bit easier for yourself, especially if you are not accustomed to slowing down and resting, is starting to practice that while you’re pregnant or even before you’re pregnant, wanting to conceive, like, just being mindful about the fact that, like, yes, once you have that baby, you are literally going to be number one. Your body biologically needs rest in order to recover from birthing a baby.

0:40:22 B: So there’s that. But then, yeah, like, it’s just your. Your main job now is to care for a little newborn baby and feed that baby. So one way to prep is, yeah, just start, start doing that re patterning before you get into that space where it’s actually necessary for you to start doing.

0:40:43 A: So. Two things. Two just very simple, practical strategies for those of you who are really in hyperdrive. And so whether you’re an expecting mother or just kind of an anxious busy person, two things that I used to do is when I would brush my teeth like anyone else does. So two things. When I’m making coffee and when I’m brushing my teeth.

0:41:03 B: Coffee with Carly, y’all.

0:41:05 A: Coffee with Carly. When I’m making coffee or brushing my teeth, I try to multitask like crazy. Like, oh, I have two minutes while my coffee is boiling. Like, here’s some time to do X, Y and Z. Or then when I’m brushing my teeth, going to bed and it’s like, okay, let’s pick up my room. And like, it’s just like, no, stop. So those are two moments where. So when you can attach, like something that you’re already doing automatically, that’s a great Line of like, trigger to help form a new habit, something that you already have. So attach it to making coffee. Just go sit at your table or sit down and just sit for those two minutes and just do nothing and relax. If you want to meditate, whatever, but just sit.

0:41:51 A: Same with when you’re brushing your teeth, just stand in the same place and just brush your teeth. And so those are two simple strategies that I would give if you are really someone that’s used to constantly doing more things than once, or for a mom to get used to just sitting for two minutes.

0:42:11 B: And there’s so many things that you can look into, you know, to start to build. Build these practices into your daily life. But.

0:42:22 A: So, okay, I have another question. When for you, since we did just talk about coffee with Carly, it’s about a wake up call. And we both have gone through this, right through the radical responsibility. You said the seed had been planted for a long time, but you. I also know this. You used to be an ICU nurse just last year, this year, just a couple months ago.

0:42:45 B: Yeah.

0:42:46 A: And so for you, we, you know, we all have these aha moments, big or small, these wake up calls. So that’s my question in the same way, you know, when I left my company, what. What was your wake up call? To realize that you were no longer gonna be in the hospital and pursue this birthing space full time.

0:43:08 B: It’s really interesting because. So, Carl, a little disclaimer, everyone. I struggle with answering questions on the spot, even though I feel like I did pretty good in this podcast, but Carly did clue me into this question, so I was like, okay, I’m gonna prep all this stuff. I’m like, the. The answer just did not come to me. Which I was like, okay, I’m gonna. I’m gonna trust that. Like, it’s gonna come to me in whatever way that it wants to.

0:43:39 B: And it came this morning during a yoga class that I went to, and the teacher reminded me of a quote that I had already heard that I love, which is adopt the pace of nature. Her secret is patience. And, I mean, I think that just speaks to my soul because I am a person who naturally does, like, like to move at a slower pace.

0:44:11 A: You should have seen how Hannah and I live together.

0:44:13 B: It’s quite opposite, but the way that you just framed the question too kind of like plays into that as well. So, like, I feel like reconnecting with just the truth of nature has been a foundational aspect of what has moved me forward onto the path that I’m on. Right now. And it has been what has. Yeah, just allowed me to, like, realign with my authenticity and reorient to, like, who I am as a human being.

0:45:03 B: And, like, I don’t know. It’s hard to describe because it does. It feels so big, but it’s also so simple. As we kind of mentioned earlier, like, when you really look at the fact that, like, we as humans, we have become disillusioned and we have created a lot of separation between ourselves and the natural world. But, like, we are nature. We came from this earth. I mean, we could go into a whole conversation about where we actually came from, but, like. Yeah, but, like, we’re nature.

0:45:41 B: And, like, so let’s. Let’s get out into nature and, like, reconnect with it. And, like, that has been a huge part of my journey, is just to focus on the foundations of our human biological design and the way that we function naturally and the way that our bodies hold immense wisdom within themselves. And so that’s really what I’m. I have been reconnecting with what I hope to continue to reconnect with and what I hope to bring into my work with women.

0:46:22 A: That reminds me of. Well, and a point about we’re all nature. Everyone should go watch the Netflix episode documentary Our Universe. It’s almost like our planet, but it’s about our universe. Oh, cool. Wow. We.

0:46:35 B: Oh, I haven’t seen this one. It’s.

0:46:38 A: Yeah. We are all the same.

0:46:40 B: Yeah.

0:46:40 A: Literally downtown, same Adam.

0:46:44 B: Bit of stardust.

0:46:45 A: I mean, it is fun with the. Okay. The medical. The healthcare system, because as a former dietitian, former ICU nurse, we do have our opinions on it, and I will say, like, there are massive limitations to it, but I think that the.

0:47:02 B: It’s.

0:47:03 A: Again, we’ve. We’ve all evolved. Right. Like, you and I had some of that foundational experience. But what I see is the importance of a place like the birthing space or the mindset coach or whatever it is. You know, my philosophy, why I didn’t go into grad school or why I didn’t go into dietetics is I didn’t really have the desire to help people that didn’t want to help themselves. And that is where I think that our healthcare system can often fail.

0:47:27 A: People who do want to help themselves and who are looking to not just survive, but to thrive. So there’s this huge gap of all of us who have big dreams, who have big desires, who want to build a life, who want to live a life differently and be happy and healthy.

0:47:44 B: Yeah.

0:47:45 A: But it’s like, where’s all that? And that’s where the birthing space, that’s where these other things can come into is. It’s this, this step up. And that’s what I find is so cool. Is of course, yes, the medical healthcare conventional, they do serve a purpose, they’re great.

0:48:01 B: It has its place.

0:48:02 A: Yes. But for those who are looking for more, who have that healthy foundation and want to go from happy to frickin amazing, that’s where these other places can, can really come into. And same with the birthing space. People don’t have to be experiencing problems to come have this.

0:48:21 B: Well, it’s that, that circles back to just the concept of re villaging. Like I, I appreciate you bringing that point into perspective. Like we don’t have to be experiencing specific issues or problems or whatever. It’s like, no, like come and just be held in the presence of another woman. Like that’s something that I have experienced in my last few years, which has also been a huge aspect of growth and just like, I don’t know, personal transformation is just like surrounding myself with women who are on similar paths, who do have these desires to be in touch with our femininity and be in touch with nature and live like beautiful lives that we feel alive within and yeah, just something, it’s something that you don’t recognize, you need until you’ve experienced it.

0:49:28 B: As far as like being held by other women and just, yeah, just being together and witnessing one another. And I’m just here for it. I’m here to provide it for other people.

0:49:45 A: Connection, here for it. That’s a great point of so many of us don’t realize we need it until we’re in that space. Yeah, I mean the hyper independence, all those things. And again, as I have really dived into the science of a lot of these things that we’ve learned, like there’s three hierarchies to the nervous system and the lowest one is actually shutdown and withdrawal. And yes, of course there’s times where we need to go, you know, do that. But connection is, it’s in our DNA.

0:50:17 A: That is how we’re thriving. And that can be a good level of it. But you have to find the right environment. And that’s, I mean that’s been a huge. Your and I relationship has been probably one of the key catalysts to the changes that both of I, both you and I have had. You know, because we both were able to mentor. We came into each other’s life and I was able to mentor you through things that I’d gone through, and you were able to mentor me, and it was huge.

0:50:45 A: And it just opens it up. And I’ve talked about that a couple times on page two of just, like, the importance of connection.

0:50:55 B: And something that’s coming to me, too is the quality of the connection is important. If what you’re looking for is growth and transformation and, like, true support of your being, the quality matters. So we’re not just, like, going out to dinner, like, once a month and, like, catching up. Like, that is amazing, and, like, that is a way to maintain friendships with people. But the type of connection that I have found to be extremely nourishing and supporting on a path is much deeper than that, and it is walking alongside. And this is what we have experienced together, Carly. Like, walk truly walking alongside one another and, like, having conversations often about what we’re experiencing and just having that other beautiful human being, like, listening to you, giving you their full presence.

0:52:05 B: I’m getting emotional because it’s so sacred and special, but giving you their full presence and being truly just like a mirror for you to reflect back to you. Like, this is what I hear you saying. And, like, what else can we explore about this? And, you know, going to those depths, I think is. I mean, it’s something that I’m super interested in and find very important. I know that not everybody does, but I think that’s a major key in when it comes to nourishing ourselves, especially as women.

0:52:40 A: And that’s the fun. I mean, connection is a foundation to both of the communities that you and I are building, because we have seen how important it is. I mean, I saw that when I was guiding in Laos. All the time is these students had traveled across the world, had never met each other, and truly became best friends and had this transformation in two weeks. Because of the connection they experienced, they were going through something with someone else. They were forced to be vulnerable. They were forced to experience discomfort together.

0:53:14 A: And so, yeah, when you can find friends or community or space or whatever that may be, that is, again, that’s. It creates this wonderful, safe environment for you to explore and transform and really experience the growth and success. Amazing. Well, I want. Hannah and I are going to talk. We could talk forever. But don’t worry, she will very likely be a reoccurring guest here on Coffee with Carly.

0:53:40 B: We didn’t get. We didn’t get weird in this episode. There’s potential. Don’t worry.

0:53:47 A: Definitely still time that’s coming. We had to warm you guys up. So, Hannah, we will definitely include you are you do provide hands on in person offerings here in Cleveland, Ohio. But I know you will also probably be extending to online support.

0:54:05 B: Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.

0:54:06 A: And we will definitely be including her information, her Instagram, the services kind of diving into what she offers in the notes below. So if you do want to learn more, if you’re a new mom out there expecting or just a woman or anyone that wants the space.

0:54:23 B: Yeah. I’m here to hold some space for for the people out there. Yeah.

0:54:28 A: And Hannah, I just want to tell you I love you.

0:54:30 B: Oh, I love you.

0:54:31 A: And thank you so much for joining me on this very special first recording ever of the Coffee with Carly podcast. I hope that you as our listeners, I know we dove into a lot, but hopefully there was a snippet, a sound bite, something there that helped you leave here a little bit happier, a little bit lighter because that is the goal of this podcast. Just remembering that we are all supposed to live happy and healthy and that most of us have no idea how good we’re supposed to feel.

0:55:07 A: But I am telling you that it is possible and should keep getting better and better. So thank you for tuning in to another episode of Coffee with Carly. We look forward to seeing you next week on our next weekly Wake Up Call. Thanks.

0:55:22 B: Bye guys. Thanks for listening.