25 | One Conversation Can Change Everything

Sometimes all it takes is one brave conversation to set your whole life in motion. I was reminded of this during my recent Free to Roam masterclass, when a woman shared how refreshing it felt to be in an inspiring conversation again—something she hadn’t experienced in years. That one comment sent me down a path of reflecting on the catalysts in my own life, the friendships that lit the match, and the ongoing support that kept the fire going.

In this episode, I’m talking about how to find your spark (even if it’s not in your current circle), why radical responsibility matters when you’re craving change, and the science of why your body resists it. I’ll share how one friend’s return into my life helped me finally quit the job I’d outgrown, the power of collaborative, supportive women, and why inspiration alone isn’t enough—you need the right people to keep you going when it gets hard.

If you’ve been waiting for clarity before you take action, this is your reminder that clarity comes from action. And the life you want? Someone’s already living it. Your job is to put yourself in the rooms, circles, and conversations that will stretch you into it.

Stay bold, stay balanced, and I’ll see you next week.

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🎥 Watch the replay of my FREE masterclass (Free to Roam) HERE

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Transcript

0:00:00 - (Carly): Foreign welcome to Coffee with Carly, your weekly wake up call to a happier, healthier life. I'm your host, Carly Shade, and I'm here to uncover how good life can get. Welcome back everyone to another episode of Coffee with Carly. I know it's been a minute since we've tuned in here, but I promise I have not strayed too far. And I also promise that I've been up to some really exciting stuff. So really what? The last time I maybe tuned in here, I don't think I had gone to my Europe trip, but I spent five amazing weeks in Europe.

0:00:49 - (Carly): That's probably all the lessons I've learned are probably gonna have to be its own episode. But I took a trip to Europe for five weeks. I officially launched my website in July and that is an awesome, awesome resource to learn more about about my story. I've shared a little bit of it in some of the early episodes, but really kind of diving into like how I came up with my unique method, how I got here, more about my one to one mentorship. That's all on my website. If you really kind of want to dive deeper into the essence of my business.

0:01:23 - (Carly): So that is just go to carly shade.com. obviously I will always include all the links in the show notes, but if, yeah, if you want to dive into the website, that was my big project that I launched in July that I'm super excited about. And then also at the end of July, I hosted a free master class called Free to Roam. I've talked about it in a couple previous episodes, but it was awesome. We finally went live.

0:01:48 - (Carly): There was 12 women registered and it was just such an epic conversation really. Free to Roam is all about the art of exploration, right? And so many women in my life, whether they're friends, clients, family member, like they say the words, I don't know what I want to do with my life. Especially when I've kind of talked to them about the changes that I've gone through, leaving my job, starting over.

0:02:11 - (Carly): You know, everyone's like, well, I'm not really happy in my job, but I don't know what I want to do with my life. Well, the reason so many of us stay stuck is because we think that clarity comes before action. We think that we have to know what we want to do with our life to then go move to another job. But that's the opposite, right? Clarity comes from action. That thing that we're looking for only comes through movement, through trial and error, through learning about ourselves.

0:02:39 - (Carly): So this masterclass, I feel very excited about because it really is just, again, just reminding people that we get to go be seen figuring it out, that most of us have no idea what we want to do with our life. So we got to go figure it out. We got to learn who we are. So I hosted that. It was a live class. It was amazing, and it was such an awesome class and something I feel so passionate about that I decided, you know what, everyone should have access to this.

0:03:05 - (Carly): So I did turn the class into a, we'll call it an Evergreen course. So the replay is available. Again, you can get access to that on my website. The link will be also in the show notes to get access to that class. You can also find the link to it in my Instagram bio. So again, it's called Free to Roam, all about the art of exploration. And it was so awesome. So that's kind of what I've been up to since I haven't been tuning in here. So I promise I'm still providing value. I'm still sharing all my wisdom with you guys. But it was during this class that kind of inspired this episode.

0:03:44 - (Carly): So for those who joined live, we had a bonus at the end and someone asked a question. Well, they made. Made a right. And it's just really stuck with me. So someone who attended live at the end, they just said, you know, thank you for hosting this class. Like, it's just so refreshing to have inspiring conversations like this. You know, I used to have them all the time, but I haven't in years, especially now that I'm back home.

0:04:11 - (Carly): So it's a pretty simple statement that this woman made. And yet I have not stopped thinking about it. Because for me, it was this powerful reminder of how important one conversation can be, right? How life changing the right support can be in your life, right? And just how having one inspiring conversation can literally change the trajectory of your life. Right? And it took me back to a time in my own life when one conversation completely shifted my path.

0:04:50 - (Carly): And really kind of one of the main stories of how I got here, how I got to be running my business, is when a very good friend from high school came back into my life. So she had landed a job as a travel nurse and asked to come stay with me. I live in Washington. And, you know, we were really, really close in high school, we were best friends. But throughout college, you know, we stayed in touch, we visited each other, had the 21st birth, birthday visits, all that, but really hadn't been in touch, you know, post college that often.

0:05:22 - (Carly): And so she came to live with Us. And that really rekindled our relationship as adults, right? Like that post college era where we're all a little bit different. We've all experienced some changes in who we are. And this friendship, it. It's the kind of friendship that really makes you a better person, I think, especially if it's someone from your childhood that now survives, you know, into the adult relationships.

0:05:47 - (Carly): Those are those keeper relationships that just. You've proven that you can remain friends through different, you know, evolutions of yourselves. And so it's. It's that special relationship that I know that we'll be friends forever, that I feel so fortunate that she walked back into my life. But this is the kind of friendship where we really started to have these honest, challenging conversations with each other.

0:06:09 - (Carly): You know, she was going through her own kind of growth journey and transformation. And it just so happened that the things that I could kind of support her with, you know, are also things that then she could support me with. And we just had this beautiful mutually beneficial relationship to help each other through these major transitions in our life. But one of the key things with. With this friendship is she certainly didn't tell me what I wanted to hear, right? She.

0:06:34 - (Carly): She told me her opinions. You know, she sometimes told me the hard truth that was staring me in the face that I didn't want to hear. We also were willing to do things together that we might not have done alone. You know, she found this women's channeling group out of someone's house, you know, in the neighborhood. And I would have never found it, first of all, and probably never signed up for it, but I was like, you know what?

0:06:56 - (Carly): Something new. Let's go do this thing together. And so almost like my free to roam class, right? Like, we got to explore things together. We got to expose each other. We got to push each other into trying new things and challenge each other and challenge our beliefs, right? And guess what? It was through this relationship, she walked back into my life. And just a couple months later, I finally quit the job that I should have quit years earlier that Hyatt outgrown. I've talked about that job a lot, but this relationship with my friend was a catalyst.

0:07:32 - (Carly): She was my catalyst, okay? And I honestly don't know if I would have made that tough decision to leave if I hadn't had her support. It was just someone who I was able to have these brave, inspiring conversations with that I hadn't had in a long time that brought this spark back. She was the catalyst for my spark to make that big move okay? So never underestimate the power of a brave conversation, even if it's just one.

0:08:07 - (Carly): But here's the thing, okay? Sometimes your catalyst, right, that inspiration that we're all looking for isn't found in your inner circle. It's not found in your current network, and that's okay, right? That woman who made that comment at the end of the class, like, you know, she's kind of struggling because she's like, I'm back home, and the people in my life here have maybe outgrown, right? And I can't find people to have these inspiring conversations with.

0:08:36 - (Carly): Well, it is on you to go find those inspiring conversations, but I also want to remind you that you might have to look beyond your backyard, and that's okay, right? If you can't find someone to have these inspiring, brave conversations with, it doesn't mean you love your friends any less. It doesn't mean you love your family any less. But it does mean it's on you to go find those conversations, all right? You are responsible for going for your inspiration and for putting yourself in a position to be inspired.

0:09:10 - (Carly): Okay? And maybe it's signing up for a free masterclass in a, you know, on zoom with full of strangers, right? But it also could just mean taking a walk in the woods. You know, when I'm feeling uninspired, I immediately go to the beach. Feeling small is actually what makes me be inspired. You know, attend a pottery class or join the online creative group. We talked about this in the masterclass a lot. You know, this isn't just about big career changes. It can be as simple as, like, wanting to try a new hobby. You know, two of the women in the class wanted to learn to make their own clothes.

0:09:43 - (Carly): I can with certainty guarantee you that there is an online group of women who are making their own clothes and want to teach other people to do it. Right? So I think a lot of us think that the inspiration that we're looking for, these things, like, have to come from our own friend groups, and they don't, right? We have to kind of take that step outside of our own backyard, look a little bit beyond our current circle to maybe go find it.

0:10:12 - (Carly): And that's why radical responsibility is so important. It's one of the first steps in experiencing change and transformation. We can't keep waiting for life. You do have to go find the inspiration you need. And when you do find that little spark of inspiration, whether it's from, like I said, the huggin a tree or joining that online meetup group, you know, you have to stick with it because that's when the real change happens.

0:10:42 - (Carly): Inspiration alone isn't going to change your life. It's the first step. It's that spark. Think of it like lighting the match. But ongoing support is really where we find true change. It's the oxygen that's keeping the fire going. And that's why I experienced such massive transformation with my friend. Because I was fortunate enough where we had, you know, those brave conversations, but also she lived with us for. She ended up living with me for a year.

0:11:14 - (Carly): I didn't know it at the time, but now when I reflect back on my journey, like, what an incredible blessing for her to walk back into my life. She was part of that ongoing support, but outside of it, it was. I also found support in a mastermind. Okay, so that is like a group of women. It's exactly what it is. Putting their brains together to kind of create something greater than the sum of all parts.

0:11:39 - (Carly): All right, so inspiration is our match, but ongoing support is the oxygen. That is where we see real transformation, you know, so my friend Hannah, she inspired me to finally leave my job. She inspired me to start this business, right? To go out on this scary path of being an entrepreneur. And then things started to get even harder, right? I took these steps to make a change and my body didn't like that. And I fortunately decided to join this, like I said, this mastermind.

0:12:12 - (Carly): And it's basically a group of women who are all entrepreneurs, who are all successful business owners who are living the way that I want and can support you in kind of choosing to create a business in a unique path. And I can honestly say it was a year long support group, just women entrepreneurs sharing ideas with each other, sharing encouragement and sharing support. And I can honestly say that I would not be here today talking to you with this business if I had not joined this group.

0:12:47 - (Carly): And I really want to pause and talk about this for a second because I think that so many women, we have grown up thinking that we need to be competitive with each other. At least I have, you know, one, I did grow up with two older brothers. There's always an edge of competition and there is a healthy amount of competition. But I think especially in some of these traditional workplaces, we think that there's only one seat at the table.

0:13:14 - (Carly): We kind of turn and it's like we have to do everything to get to the top. And that is not true. So scientifically speaking, there's actually been tons of research that indicates a lot of this competitiveness I think is in male dominated industries. But research indicates that women thrive in collaborative environments where they support each other. Okay, if I had not had my friend. And then also this mastermind where, again, it's a business mastermind for female entrepreneurs.

0:13:48 - (Carly): We're sharing ideas, we're sharing strategies, we're sharing marketing stories, but we're also just supporting each other, right? Like, when I have this crazy idea that everybody else doesn't understand, there's a group of women telling me to keep going, to keep following through, to see it through, right? And some of us have similar jobs, we have similar businesses, but there's no competition because we are all different. We are all unique.

0:14:13 - (Carly): And being in this group where women are supporting women was truly probably one of the most integral parts of my transformation. I had to learn to let go of some of this competitiveness that, like, there's only a limited amount of pie. And if I support other people, I'm gonna. It's taking away from my piece of the pie. That is not true, okay? I cannot stress enough how important it is for women to collaborate to support each other, and it actually causes everybody to be more successful.

0:14:52 - (Carly): And I think, especially if you're here listening to this podcast, you are an ambitious woman, right? We have a lot of people who are these highly competitive, highly ambitious women. But I just want you guys to realize that supporting other people is actually how you support yourself, okay? Because I'm not gonna lie, change is hard, okay? Like, there is a reason that most of us stay stuck, that most of us don't go take that leap of faith.

0:15:21 - (Carly): And that's why when we understand both the physical, the emotional, the mental aspects of transformation, that's how we can really start to see success. And we talked about this in my masterclass. But the body loves homeostasis. It loves balance. It loves the path of least resistance. And so when we make a change, that's creating a new pathway, okay? And it's like, wait, wait, wait, why aren't we going down this old slide that we've created, okay? Our bodies can't really tell the difference between good change and bad change.

0:15:51 - (Carly): Good newness and new. And bad newness, right? So when you are making a change, even if it's something as simple as starting a new hobby, there's this shift. Our body is experiencing this discomfort, like, on a cellular level. It's like, wait, what's going on? And also when you start to change, evolve, grow, you're gonna experience some other people's projections. It's not about you, but you're kind of showing them, oh man, like, if she can change, so can I. And there's a lot of people that aren't ready to face that. And so they want to kind of bring you back down to their level where it feels safe, it feels familiar, right? We, there's tons and tons and tons of research and science of why change can be so hard.

0:16:31 - (Carly): But this is why ongoing support, a group of collaborative, supportive women, isn't just nice to have. It is truly the thing that's going to help you move through change, move through the discomfort of change, right? Because remember, the discomfort that your body feels, the discomfort that your brain feels, that fear of judgment, the fear of being misunderstood, like that all comes with change. But having the right support group is the encouragement that you need.

0:17:02 - (Carly): When every cell in your body thinks something is wrong, it's gonna help you move through that initial creation of new pathways right in our nervous systems, in our neurons, in our brains. And so that's just what I really wanna hone in on today is like the power of one inspiring conversation, the power of ongoing support, and just the importance of finding that in your life. All right? Whether it's 180 career change, total life transition, or picking up a new hobby, you don't have to do it alone. And you shouldn't.

0:17:40 - (Carly): But remember, if you are sitting there like, well, I don't have anyone in my life that's inspiring. It is on you to go find it. And there are so many free resources out there. Again, whether it's a Masterclass full of 12 strangers on Zoom, whether it's a Facebook group where you learn to make your own clothes, whether it's just reconnecting with someone from your past that you were always able to have some of those deeper conversations with.

0:18:08 - (Carly): Go find your inspiration and go find your support. And especially for us women, we were meant to collaborate. That's why I started this. That's why I'm on this journey, right? Like, I want to support women in a way that is supportive to women. So many of these systems, these beliefs that we've created were around the male dominated systems. This competitiveness, this individualness, that's not the way that women were built.

0:18:38 - (Carly): And so just go find the right support. And I want, you know, again, and it can be a friend, it can be an online community, it can be a coach. That's the power of it all. But if I really, really want you to take away one thing from this episode, it's this. There is no dream, no goal too big or too audacious. Okay? The life that you want is out there. And in fact, I can guarantee that somebody is already living it.

0:19:08 - (Carly): And the secret to having it all, the secret to real change, it starts with that one brave conversation and a little bit of encouragement. And so I hope that this episode helps spark that brave conversation. Right. Is a bit of a catalyst for you, whether this is the inspiration or the catalyst for you to go find your inspiration, to go find that support group, to go click join on that online meetup group.

0:19:38 - (Carly): Okay. That's why I do what I do. My dream is to be a catalyst for all of you. You know, I hope that this episode, this podcast, right. Can sometimes be the person that you get to have a brave conversation with, to be that permission slip, to go pursue the life you want, to give you a little grace, to understand that change is hard. And sometimes going about it alone is why we stay stuck, because we don't seek the right support, the brave conversation, the little bit of encouragement.

0:20:13 - (Carly): It is possible to build a life that you're proud of, but don't think that you have to do it alone. Life keeps getting to be better and better and better. And when we seek the right support, when we put ourselves in rooms that inspire us, that we get to grow into, that stretch us, that's how we can continue to show up. That's how we can be consistent. And that's how one step at a time, one conversation at a time, all of a sudden our life is different for the better.

0:20:48 - (Carly): So that's what I have today. It was just a little bit of a riff, right? Of hopefully a reminder again that one little conversation can truly change everything. So I hope you enjoyed it. I hope this was a bit of an inspiration for you. And again, you guys can find this free to roam replay on my website, in the show notes on my Instagram bio. Go check out my website. And if you have always, if you are ready for that brave conversation, if you are ready to have somebody in your corner for three months, six months, nine months, and you're interested in my private mentorship, please reach out.

0:21:33 - (Carly): You know, there is something to be said for simple accountability, to have somebody to be your permission slip, to have somebody encourage you to go after that crazy dream. Because I am never going to tell you that a dream is too big, too audacious or too crazy. It's possible and trust me, I'm doing it right now. So if you're ready for some one to one mentorship, all of that, the application is on my website as well. So go Check it out again. It's carly shade.com

0:22:01 - (Carly): and thank you guys again for tuning in. I know it's been a little bit, but I hope you enjoyed this episode. And, and as always, like a good cup of coffee, stay bold, stay balanced, and I will see you next week.